What’s a girl to do?

Living in the 21st century with a culture set in the past can only mean one thing. Restictions. Restrictions. Restrictions. Compromising  freedom because being born in the West with eastern ends means a tug of war of the heart, body and soul.

The soul wants happiness but it’s stuck on pleasing others. The body wants self expression not a clone of its mothers and the mind wants to experience, explore and run wild.

I say, let’s all wear horrors tshirts and dr martens with the finest silk draped across our bodies. Integrate and incorporate and  always leave with an open heart.

To tear myself in two.

To tear myself in two. Wouldn’t that be great.

To be who I’m meant to be and be who I want to be wouldn’t be such sweet sorrow.

I find myself stuck in my mind a lot. That lonely place where darkness meets day and day meets night.

That place where my conscious and subconscious converse about my everyday actions, influencing and battling amongst  her Majesty Juju . The guilt trip and the happy trip, lets have a souvenir trip.

The mind.. what a powerful embodiment of life. The mind what a destruction of oneself.

The self, me the puppet in a play. Being pulled by the strings of my own making. Unable to break from the grip of emotion that seems to be flooding through like the light of darkness.

This makes no logical sense, no real story. My words are being fed by my emotions. Let what I feel cascade across the screen like the typings of a mad person or maybe more so a sad person.

The headache I feel every time I drain myself of tears. The loss of a loved one, the loss of myself. Being lost.

Floating forever .