Romanticism.

Wouldn’t the world be great, if everyone lived in harmony, no judgement, no quarrel. Just peace. No backchat or hierarchy, no green eyes. Just a happy life full of happy people. No feelings of loneliness amongst a world booming with bodies. No subliminal messages and unspoken words. No bad tones and negative feelings. Just a atom of love that disperses when the cold air hits.

Our world goes on about a healthy happy life but why are we victims to such negativity? We need to unite against that invisible evil, that hatred that rises. we are no race colour or creed we are humans and there is good in us all. Don’t let those that fall victim to the dark hole be our eyes for all souls. The world is a messed up place already. Come
together and be the good juju that the world needs.

Me and my mum had a discussion once, I told her I felt like running away from this place, she said me too but whose going to lock the doors? I just thought it moments of sadness there is always humour. Be good to one another and laugh until your belly hurts.

Just.

You come, you go

you feel so numb

Routine becomes all you know

You cry, you’re dry

Drained of what was.

The black dog, he’s lurking

tilted head,

hes barking

This is life.

To tear myself in two.

To tear myself in two. Wouldn’t that be great.

To be who I’m meant to be and be who I want to be wouldn’t be such sweet sorrow.

I find myself stuck in my mind a lot. That lonely place where darkness meets day and day meets night.

That place where my conscious and subconscious converse about my everyday actions, influencing and battling amongst  her Majesty Juju . The guilt trip and the happy trip, lets have a souvenir trip.

The mind.. what a powerful embodiment of life. The mind what a destruction of oneself.

The self, me the puppet in a play. Being pulled by the strings of my own making. Unable to break from the grip of emotion that seems to be flooding through like the light of darkness.

This makes no logical sense, no real story. My words are being fed by my emotions. Let what I feel cascade across the screen like the typings of a mad person or maybe more so a sad person.

The headache I feel every time I drain myself of tears. The loss of a loved one, the loss of myself. Being lost.

Floating forever .

 

She Don’t Like Jelly

I never wanted to become like this,

for my emotions to leap forward out of every movement and every sound

as my head tilts to the side, staying put, never lifting

as you look at me in pity

understanding but never feeling,

connecting  but never knowing,

 you throw me those dirty tissues

To wipe away all feeling,

to man up and suck it up

weakness was never pretty,

As my subconscious roars, my body depletes all knowing

as my mind gains power

I am slowly falling.

 

 

 

 

Whats it to be free?

Sometimes life can give you bad juju.The kind of juju that changes a person. Shakes them, turns them upside down until they aren’t the same anymore. No matter how hard they try to be themself, theres always going to be something missing.

When this happens all you want to do is ignore it, escape it and hide from the fear that creates it. All you want to do is erase it, to make like it never existed.

You learn its not that simple.

Instead face it, embrace it and look it straight in the eye because fear is nothing without emotion. Take out the emotion and you take away fear.

Easily said right?

I say this in the hope that what Im saying is true and that the positive I speak shows itself.

Because today I felt like I was trapped. Trapped with the realisation of what I  had lost and I couldn’t escape it. I couldn’t look it straight in the eye, not without emotion. I felt stupid for feeling. The raw emotion melted away at the mask that I put on daily. The me was real and I was faced with fear. Fear of feeling and showing who I was. The fragile soul.

Its true you know, when there is bad it can’t get any worse so be ready for something much better. Something that is ok because its ok to be OK.